My publishing comes in bursts. When I’m not writing, I’m reading your words—or at least trying to read your words, depending on my schedule that day.
When I was sick a few months ago, I spent numerous days focusing specifically on reading your work. It was glorious.
I wrote an article on Medium expressing my appreciation for having access to your work and for the ability to communicate with you.
Click here to read “Thank You for Your Support.”
Confidence Gone
However, I had not anticipated that losing myself in a sea of creativity would cause me to lose confidence in my writing ability. Suddenly, I could not get my thoughts and ideas out of my head and down on “paper.”
What is happening?
Fear
Then, it occurred to me. I was afraid to write because I was comparing my abilities to yours. I no longer believed I was good enough.
I was focusing on the number of interactions you all received. Then I looked at mine and felt embarrassed. In comparison, I felt like an Author poser.
I realized I had forgotten my WHY.
That is until I found an article discussing her WHYs for writing her blog.
In a flash, I was reminded of my WHY. I started on this writing journey to reflect and journal about my life experiences.
My focus was to share these experiences and life lessons with others as a means to offer encouragement and comradery.
Daily posting gave me consistency and routine, which helped me ground myself as I experienced a lot of turbulence.
Editing to Death
Despite that realization, I still felt inadequate. I worried what was in my heart wasn’t good enough to write about. Who wants to read what I have to say?
I kept trying to write about my life. When I read my efforts, I judged them harshly. Nothing sounded right, so I would fiddle around and edit my words repeatedly, to the point they were almost ruined.
I was once again afraid to publish my work.
My Purpose
I was so distraught about this. I spent the entire week thinking, “What am I trying to do? I’m not a writer. I can’t do what these people do here. Who am I fooling?”
Around and around, my inner dialog continued until I finally landed back on my WHY.
My PURPOSE was to share my life with others.
How can I do that wrong? I don’t have to write like everyone else because my journey is different.
WHOA, major light bulb moment!
Intentions
My intent was never to become the best author in the world. It was to communicate with others and support those who could identify with my words.
So, I began writing again. I forced myself to publish my work, even if it wasn’t perfect. I became at peace with this process once more.
I must remind myself that I don’t have to be like everyone else. I am like ME, and that is all I need to be.
Thank you for reading, commenting, restacking, following, and subscribing. I am so blessed to be included here with you all on Substack.
Click here if you would like to buy me a cup of Coffee. Thank you in advance.
Please join me on my journey if you resonate with my story. Also, consider subscribing to and following my blog on Medium.
I'm so glad that you discovered your why again. I know exactly how that feels.
I write to help people through my experiences. That's first and foremost. But I also write because there was a period of time where I couldn't even hold a pen, let alot type on a keyboard.
I continue to write because there was a chance that I would never be able to write again. There's too many aspiring writers that need help facing their fears and pursuing their purpose.