Trapped

Not happily ever after

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

There were no bars surrounding me.

I could have walked away at any time.

But I felt I could not.

I believed that God held me hostage.

Hostage to the marriage vows I took.

He did not care if I had made a mistake.

It was too late, and now I am trapped.

Photo by micheile henderson on Unsplash

I had stood before Him and vowed my life to a man. 

I was told it would be a sin to dissolve this vow.

I did not want to upset God.

I did not know what to do or say.

I only knew I was not ready for this life.

But I believed I was trapped.

---

I stayed for two years.

I did try to adjust.

I accepted my fate.

But my rage was simmering.

My anger a glow.

My resentment was growing.

Because I knew I was trapped.

Photo by photo nic on Unsplash

I needed to escape.

I needed to be free.

I needed to have the ability to be me.

But my courage was lost.

But now it is found.

I have unlocked my cell door.

The marriage is over.

Yet I still feel trapped.

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I was trapped by guilt and shame.

My ever-growing fear engulfed me.

Can I survive this new life?

Does God still love me?

Is He still there?

Will He stay with me?

Now that I am free.

Photo by Fernando Brasil on Unsplash